A tip on what not to do at the bar

If you've already a) been drinking for a while during the day, and b) you stumble while being dropped off by your friends, and c) you stride rather unsteadily into a different bar, it's probably not a good idea to be a complete jackass with the first thing you say to the bartender.

For example, if you're a guy, and the first thing you ask your bartender is "Can I get a mustache ride?", you're probably not going to get a drink.